Popped into Costco on Thursday for a few healthy things ... blueberries, lettuce, chicken. I was pretty hungry at the time but I figured I'd dash through and get what I needed, then make myself a nice salad when I got home.
But I was derailed. It seems they'd quadrupled the team of Food Demo Ladies at Costco that day.
As I made my way through the warehouse, the hair-netted Food Ladies seemed to leap from every corner and materialize around every bend, extending treats like Halloween ghouls.
"Pig in a blanket, dearie?" (use witch voice here) How could I refuse? I was quite hungry after all, and what harm can a little pig in a blanket do?
"Don't be afraid of a little pumpkin cheesecake, my little pretty." Uh, well .. don't mind if I do.
"Chewy peanut bar?"
"Fritos and salsa?"
"Some apple cider?"
"Chips and queso?"
I felt like I was on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, careening my cart from aisle to aisle as the Food Ladies, grinning like Cheshire Cats, emerged and retracted, and emerged and retracted from the shadows with forbidden delights. My paper sample cups stacked up on the cart seat, then finally toppled over. I'd still be chewing on the last goodie when the next Food Lady appeared with her tray of treats. I'd point to my mouth, indicating it was full, yet shamefully snatched whatever she was serving up, gave her a wink and the thumbs up, and rolled on ... chewing, chewing. I was under the Food Ladies' spell. By God, if I wasn't trick or treating in Costco!Italian sausage, Luna Bars, Chateaubriand with a dollop of mashed potatoes (that was my main course), Halloween cookies. One lady was even giving out cat food samples. "No thanks," I waved her off. "I'm stuffed."
Oh yes, I finally left Costco absolutely stuffed, feeling much like a pig in a blanket myself.
Pass the Tums, please. And do as I say, not as I do. And most important,