Saturday, February 06, 2010

One Not-So-Smart Cookie

If texting while driving makes you 8 times more likely to have an accident, then wouldn't it be like, 12 times more dangerous to attempt to open a sealed plastic container of Costco cookies while driving, so that you could scarf them on the way home? Cuz those suckers are hard to pop open ... you really need two hands. I think the Department of Public Safety should issue an advisory that you really should pull over to the side of the road to open your cookie container and suck them up like a Hoover. Ya know, as you would for calling or texting. Safety first, people. Seriously.

Or maaaybe ... don't buy the Costco cookies AT ALL, note to self.

I was almost to the check-out line when my cart spun around all Stephen King-like and sped back to the cookies I had ogled minutes before. Where they just leapt into my cart. Frightening.

You know the rest of the story.
Yeah.
And later at home, after Mike and I both had our way with these cookies, we stuck the scant leftovers in the back of the freezer. Where we hoped we would forget about them. Which we really have. Miraculously.

This was a big slip, I must confess. But as catastrophic events often do have silver linings, it's driven me to something new, something healthy, something exciting, something, well .... positively life-changing!

And THAT, my friends, is something I'm going to tell you about next time!

And before I dash off, I just want to say that texting while driving is really nothing to joke about. I've taken Oprah's No Phone Zone pledge and I would encourage everyone to do so. Those of you who saw the show she did on the dangers of texting while driving will know what I'm talking about; all those families who've lost loved ones because of it. Not worth a crummy text.

Be safe.

P.S. Oh, you know how we said we wanted a deadline extension to January 31 to lose our 16 pounds? Uhhhhhhhhhh ...

I'm still only 2 pounds away from goal, pinky swear! I've just been coasting since the holidays. And those damn cookies. Let's give it another month. And by another month I mean, indefinitely.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My Favorite Pet (Peeve)

Okay so let's talk about other stuff while I avoid the topic of weight loss. Yep ... we're still in holiday recovery here. Two crummy lingering pounds, but still.

I was kind of in the mood to gripe about a few of my pet peeves, like:

wrestling with tangled clothes hangers,

or, people who say "her and I" (as in, "Her and I ditch English class often.")

or, rude and sullen service people who mutter (without even glancing up from their task at hand) things like "what's up" when you go to pick up your passport photo at Walgreen's. And I don't mean a friendly, cheerful "hey, wassup!" ... I mean a "what-the-hell-do-you-want-lady, you're-bothering-me" what's up.

Or, sheesh, they can send a man to the moon but nobody can figure out how to make a garden hose that doesn't kink,

or, clueless grocery shoppers who abandon their carts in the middle of the aisle as they wander off to contemplate nutrition labels,

or, the fact that we are always knee-deep in dog hair at our house, despite endless vacuuming.

But that last pet peeve got me to thinking about the pet that causes that peeve and then I started feeling less bitchy and more, well ... all mushy inside. The source of all that dog hair is Angel, our 12 year old yellow Lab. Baby Girl, Mike calls her. But our Baby Girl is getting on in years. And, oh dear ... that makes you think. And now I don't so much feel like bitching about petty stuff anymore.
Angel came to us as a 9 week old pup in 1998. Elizabeth was 10 and we had promised her a puppy when we moved to Austin; she in turn promised us she would be responsible for taking care of this dog. Parents 'round the world? Does this ever happen? (raspberry sound here) Elizabeth named Angel after her favorite food at the time, angel HAIR pasta, and after a couple of shedding seasons it became clear that Elizabeth's name choice was a little joke from the universe. Shouldn't we have taken the "hair" part of that name inspiration and called her Harriet? Especially since Angel seemed a poor choice for the naughty youngster she was. But as she got older, it was evident Angel was a perfect name as she became our gentle, patient, devoted companion and protector.

She's not been an especially healthy or low maintenance dog however, and she has cost us a small fortune in vet bills, especially in contrast to our miniature dachshund, Rosemary, who's never had a sick day in her life (and who sometimes uses Angel's ass for a pillow; above). Angel takes the prize for ear infections, chronic skin allergies, compulsive licking, paw chewing, and scratching. She often wears toddler's socks (pictured above) to keep her from gnawing paws raw. She's been on an expensive allergy medication for several years now ($50 a month) and does an occasional course of steroids for bad flare ups. As you can see, she's never particularly happy about all this. In September she tore her acl and had surgery, a big deal for an older dog because the recovery process (below) is intense. Again, not happy. She's hobbling a bit but doing pretty well now! For an old Baby Girl.
But the shedding. Ack! I find blond dog hair in my morning coffee and on my pillow at night. I even found one in the microwave the other day. My slippers, which are not the furry, fluffy kind, are furry and fluffy. And our clothes ... well, suffice it to say we have a lifetime supply of lint rollers which are strategically stationed throughout the house.

Angel is a year-round shedder, even shedding great gobs in winter when other dogs are smartly building up and hanging onto their winter coats. You can see the hair falling off blizzard-like when she strolls by. I could stuff a sofa with the hair I collect after I brush her on the back porch. I often throw fistfuls of it into the yard and come spring, the birds snatch bits of it to line their nests. In the fall we find these empty nests in the naked branches of trees and we tell Angel that she has made a loving contribution to the comfort and protection of tender fledglings, who will soon be the parents of more fledglings come next spring. And on and on.

I often complain that I wish I had back all of the hours I've spent on extra vacuuming over the years since we've had Angel. I don't really. She has been worth every minute of it, worth every penny spent at the vet, every moment devoted to her convalescing, every chewed up Bally shoe and every Barbie outfit ingested as a puppy. The best part is that we can say this now, while she is still with us. We can nuzzle her neck and tell her how important she is to us. She has been our mentor, showing us how to love. Showing us how it's done.

There is such an abundance of Angel hair blowing about our yard that long after she is gone someday, the birds will still be lining their nests with Angel hair every spring. When we find those abandoned nests in fall, our hearts will swell and we will tell Angel again: you always did and always will make a loving contribution to the comfort and protection of tender lives.

That's what Angels do.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Fa-la-la-la-finally!

Oh dear. May we have an extension, please?
Our goal deadline is supposed to be Dec. 31 (eek! that's tomorrow!) but there has simply been far too much fa-la-la-la-la-ing going on around here and we're wiggling the diet challenge into January! But fear not; we've not packed on the el-bees again ... just a couple,* which I sort of expected might happen during cookie season. Not too worried about it and waaaaaay too happy with the overall weight loss since August to slide back into that chubby zone. No weigh! But hells bells, I was just one pound away from goal when I last posted before Thanksgiving and then, well ... you know the rest!

I'm so sorry to have dropped off the holiday radar at that point! I apologize to loyal readers who tell me they kept checking in only to find the same ol' tired tale of a turkey sandwich. I became mired in preparing for holiday shows where I sell my handmade wares, which threw my festive holiday season way off this year. The tree got up really late, gifts I wanted to make never got made, and our own handmade Christmas cards never got made and sent. Horrors! I've only missed sending out Christmas cards once before in 35 years and I just hated that I missed this year! (But a Happy New Year card is in the works.) That's the price you pay when you have a handmade card biz ... you can't just dash-along-Dancer to Barnes & Noble and buy a few ready-made boxes. (Although I just might next year! Hey, just sayin'.) Noooo, you have to (attempt to) be ever-so-clever and MAKE your own Christmas cards. The pressure, people. The pressure! Anyway, belated Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to one and all! (Note to self: no more shows at Christmastime. It cramps the holiday fun.)

So stick with me here ... I'm playing catch-up on holiday photos and news.

Just after my last post, we had a whirlwind but lovely Thanksgiving trip to my sister Kathy's house in Mill Valley, California. Here are the three generations of Wells/Grant women (right to left): my 87 year old Mom (and by 87 I mean more like 47), my beautiful 22 year old daughter, my ahem! year old sister and ahem! year old me.
Despite my late start, we had a glorious and cozy Christmas at home ... just the three of us, plus my BFF of 46 years, Marilyn of Southern California. We love a Christmas steeped in tradition, and that includes this raspberry-pineapple-sour cream jello salad which has graced our holiday table for as long as I can remember. One of Elizabeth's favorites!
And here we are about to gobble the most un-diet-like Christmas feast. And by God, we enjoyed every bite!This week following Christmas is my favorite week ever, as it is always devoted entirely to reading by the fire, journaling, naps and bubble baths. I say leave the tree, the decorations, the house cleaning, and the social obligations.

Decompress.
Rest.
Replenish.
Be Grateful.

And last but not least .... Rosemary, the Dachshund Dog and her people wish y'all a lickity-split, delightfully deee-vine, delicious and healthy 2010.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

* But hey, but I'm not changing the Meltdown Meter. Those little pounds are only here for a brief holiday visit!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Evolution of a Turkey Sandwich

Let's talk turkey. More specifically, turkey sandwiches which are, in my humble opinion, one the best parts of Thanksgiving. Because, come on ... this IS why we have Thanksgiving, correct? To get to the really yummy part: the post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwich. This sandwich is so important that this poor fella gives up his life for it ....
... dons a hairnet and retreats to the freezer ...
... and gets his ass stuffed and roasted ...
... so that ultimately we may gobble up this lovely, delicious roasted turkey sandwich. I daresay the love for the post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwich has been passed down to me by my dear late Dad, Art Wells. He couldn't get enough of them, in fact, my Mom would roast turkeys all year round so that Dad could have his turkey sang-wiches, he called them. (I have no idea why.) And in his opinion, Fritos were most certainly required with this sang-wich. He thought this was a great combo. "G-R-A-T-E," he used to say. Ah, Dad was one of a kind. Here's to you, Dad ... one turkey sang-wich with Fritos coming right up next Friday.

G-R-A-T-E news! I'm one pound away from my goal! Yep, I've lost 15 pounds and am screamingly pleased! Mike's on the road at the time of this posting but last I checked, he looked G-R-A-T-E at 10 lbs. lost! (And doesn't need to lose more, imho.)

OK, I'm a turkey. Because lately I've been a remiss blogger and a negligent blog reader. So sorry, followers and fellow bloggers. This time of year I become mired in work, holiday shows and panic. (Note to self: no stress-gobbling allowed.) From now until December 31st I will be posting on an irregular basis. But for now I'm wishing you all the most glorious and abundant of Thanksgivings, turkey sang-wich, Fritos and all.

Happy Feast!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Cute as bug. The car, not me.

This is my friend Julie's adorable car. Isn't it cute as a bug? Oh yeah, and that's me, aka Bugs. We're in the parking lot of Austin Java where we had just lunched. People have been asking me why I haven't posted any update photos of Mike and me as we progress with our weight loss. There are two reasons, plain and simple.

1. There is rarely anyone around to take a picture of me anyway, since I have a husband who travels hither and yon.

2. And besides, even if he is here to take a picture, I generally spend my days in my home workshop make-up-less, in yoga pants and t-shirts covered with dog hair, bits of thread and cotton batting ... and with hair that most often resembles a bird's nest.

A photo op is rare. So since I was meeting up with Julie and other good friend, Kimber, to lunch and brainstorm Julie's idea for a new book proposal ..... we had a little photo shoot in the parking lot. (Gotta plug their terrific blogs here: Julie at Midlife Jobhunter and Kimber at Fragrant Liar.) Anyway, a lovely setting for pictures, doncha think? What with utility boxes and phone lines and the cars roaring by. What's worse was the posing and prancing about the parking lot, trying to channel Project Runway model moves. We had a giggle. Nevertheless, I've made an utter fool of myself in public yet again.
And there was yet another photo op this week!
This is me standing on my veranda overlooking the beautiful Texas Hill Country. And by my veranda I mean someone else's 6 million dollar house where we happened to be on a home tour on Thursday. And another pic of me in my study ... er, rich people's study.

So, see? I have lost some weight! Been a little stuck for about 10 days but I've lost almost 14 lbs. now. Just a couple more to go to reach the initial goal of 16 lbs. and then I'll probably re-assess. I just might decide to shave off a few more while I'm at it. But wait. Thanksgiving's coming. Oh.

Mike has also been stuck at the same weight for awhile but his intense travel schedule as of late has made losing weight so very challenging. He gets a pass though, because he actually lost weight in the early part of this year and so, fuhgeddabout our August 16th diet/blog launch date, he's lost a total of 20 lbs. altogether this year! (Which is why I don't think he even needs to lose another ounce.)

Just want to say that with the holidays nearly upon us, I'm about to get as busy as an elf with my creative work and will probably be posting less frequently. What am I working on? Shameless self-promotion: www.bugsie.etsy.com Still much more to come online once I've finished a little more inventory: holiday cards made from vintage Christmas tablecloths, vintage-y pillows, purses ... and the cutest little pincushions you ever did see! Stay tuned!
See ya before Thanksgiving, for sure!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Trick or Treat ... at Costco???


Popped into Costco on Thursday for a few healthy things ... blueberries, lettuce, chicken. I was pretty hungry at the time but I figured I'd dash through and get what I needed, then make myself a nice salad when I got home.

But I was derailed. It seems they'd quadrupled the team of Food Demo Ladies at Costco that day.

As I made my way through the warehouse, the hair-netted Food Ladies seemed to leap from every corner and materialize around every bend, extending treats like Halloween ghouls.

"Pig in a blanket, dearie?" (use witch voice here) How could I refuse? I was quite hungry after all, and what harm can a little pig in a blanket do?

But then:

"Don't be afraid of a little pumpkin cheesecake, my little pretty." Uh, well .. don't mind if I do.

And ...
"Chewy peanut bar?"
"Fritos and salsa?"
"Some apple cider?"
"Chips and queso?"

I felt like I was on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, careening my cart from aisle to aisle as the Food Ladies, grinning like Cheshire Cats, emerged and retracted, and emerged and retracted from the shadows with forbidden delights. My paper sample cups stacked up on the cart seat, then finally toppled over. I'd still be chewing on the last goodie when the next Food Lady appeared with her tray of treats. I'd point to my mouth, indicating it was full, yet shamefully snatched whatever she was serving up, gave her a wink and the thumbs up, and rolled on ... chewing, chewing. I was under the Food Ladies' spell. By God, if I wasn't trick or treating in Costco!Italian sausage, Luna Bars, Chateaubriand with a dollop of mashed potatoes (that was my main course), Halloween cookies. One lady was even giving out cat food samples. "No thanks," I waved her off. "I'm stuffed."

Oh yes, I finally left Costco absolutely stuffed, feeling much like a pig in a blanket myself.

Pass the Tums, please. And do as I say, not as I do. And most important,

Happy Halloween!!!!!!

P.S. We got another award! Many thanks to Salina Lyn at Becoming a Thinner, Sexier Me for presenting us with the One Lovely Blog Award. Please check her out; she's losing weight too and she is rockin' it! Please stay tuned for favorite blogs that will receive this award next.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Smug Me

Feeling pretty smug these days. Because I've lost 13 lbs. in 9 weeks!!!!!! That's an average of 1.5 lbs. a week. I'm liking it! A good rate, me thinks.

And as I type this, I'm eating a delicious flank steak panini. Don't you just want to slap me? Am I not a smug brat? But wait, it's a common sense panini. Two smallish, very grainy pieces of bread, slices of last night's leftover flank steak, a little red onion, avocado slices, some grated mozzarella cheese, a little olive oil brushed on the ol' George Foreman Grill* and yum. Grilled to toasty, meltey perfection. Ain't nuttin' wrong with that lunch, people. You got your grains, you got your lean meat protein, you got your monounsaturated fat avocado which is so, so good for you. Previously? I'd be sitting here typing with a big ol' grilled cheese in my hand (grilled in butter, natcherly), accompanied by a heap o' potato chips, and a hefty cookie or two for a lunch dessert. (And who eats lunch dessert?) See? Progress! A common sense lunch.

This time around, Mike and I decided to ignore the traditional popular diets and just use the ol' noggin. No calorie counting, no weekly meetings, no food scales, no units, no pre-packaged foods that arrive in your mailbox. Just a good measure of common sense, which I think is the only thing you really need. Something you always have right there in your hip pocket. You can pull it out anytime you want and you can depend on it for the rest of your life. Your common sense will never let you down.

This is not to say that weight loss programs like Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, or whatever you fancy, aren't good programs. If you've lost weight following any of these plans (and have kept it off) ... yay! I'm just saying that we, as a society, over think weight loss. I mean, come on ... we all know what we need to eat and not eat in order to drop some el-bees. Do we want to spend the rest of our lives being preoccupied with counting, measuring and weighing food every day? No thanks. In my opinion, that concept leans toward over thinking, preoccupation with every bite that goes in, and focus on "just can't be fat, just can't be fat" sorts of fretting.

Instead, think: "I am so, so healthy," present tense, over and over, with feeling, and omit negatives. None of this "can't be fat, I don't want to be this weight anymore" stuff. You CAN trick your brain into thinking that you are currently healthy, and ideal weight falls under this healthy heading. So skip the "I'm so slim" mantra and go straight for the "I'm so healthy" one. Tricking your brain into thinking that you are wonderfully healthy now, makes your your brain achieve exactly that. It works. Stay away from words like "fat" and "overweight" because then that will become your mind's focus. Your focus is now health. Smart eating and exercise naturally follow when your mind focuses on health.
One more time with feeling, folks: "I am so, so, SO healthy! I am healthier than I have ever been in my life!!!" Your brain will believe it.

Of course, these aren't my theories ... these are documented, proven strategies. But I am a pretty smug, smarty pants, aren't I? (Hey, but those smarty pants are a couple of sizes smaller now!)

* The George Foreman Grill deserves a special post all it's own! It's a fantastic little gadget. Go buy one! They're cheap.