That was then and this is now. Unfortunately.

Despite the fact that we see ourselves as forever young in our delusional little brains, it just ain't so. Our once resilient bodies and our fast running metabolisms have changed drastically and to us, it seems like overnight. Who's the cute dude to the left? Mr. Melter of 64 sticks of butter, at a pretty good clip, I might add. Yep, that's Mike at UC Berkeley, circa 1978. That was then.

And this is now. We don't look like we used to and we can't eat like we used to. It's hard to accept. Where's the magic bullet that can make this whole shift in metabolism easier?

Ice cream, french fries, cheeseburgers, beer and more ... once devoured without a care in the world or one ounce gained, are now off limits. Well, for the most part. And the bod ... well, gone are the blond locks (the shag) and the mini skirt legs. Long gone. Now I wonder what's up with these road maps on my legs and this dry, dry, dry fire hazard of a haystack on my head? And the baggy knees? I need a knee lift, fercrissake.

Back in the day, most of us sailed through the 70s on zero exercise, (gyms hadn't been invented yet, am I right people?) all-nighters involving kegs of beer, followed by late night runs to Jack in the Box. Fast forward to midlife: now those late night runs are to the bathroom, the beer is replaced by Metamucil and the all-nighters are, up-all-night-waiting-for-kids-to-pull-safely-into-the-driveway, preferably not having spent the evening behaving as we did at their age. Are you with me?

Recently Mike had his annual physical and he talked to his doctor about controlling his cholesterol. Because of side effects Mike can't take statin drugs to lower it, so he asked the question, "then how can you control it?" Doc's answer: You control very simply with a healthy diet and consistent exercise. (Doc actually recommends a Mediterranean diet.) So that's IT? Diet and exercise? Well, we already know that, right? Magic bullet, please. Hmm, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that the magic bullet is Acceptance with a capital A. That we finally, finally Accept the fact that we must, must control our health with good diet and consistent exercise. "But we don't wanna," we all wail. I know, but this is now.

No, we're not the beer swilling college kids we once were. We can't pound drinks, give in to late night munchies, or do any number of things we used to do. Aww man, who wants to go back there anyway? That was then. Let's move forward. Are you with me?

But hell, all this talk makes me wanna get a JITB Super Taco. Just kidding. Sorta.

Meltdown Rules for Dummies (and by dummies I mean us)

Now that we have 10 days under our buttery belts, we have a pretty good idea about what our rules of the road should be in order to stay on track. These are guidelines for us and not necessarily for all Melters, and it's just a bunch of no-brainer, common sense stuff. Trust me, nothing terribly enlightening here, people ... and certainly nothing we haven't all heard a ka-zillion times before. But these are rules we've been ignoring the past few years, like dummies. It's time to wake up and lose the butter.

1. Eat every hour or so: Being too busy and waiting too long to eat has probably been one of my biggest problems in the past. Now I'm eating little snacks throughout the day ... walnuts, some strawberries, maybe a hard boiled egg. Previous experience tells me that allowing myself to get too hungry, especially when out running errands, could possibly result in a drive through McDonald's.

2. Exercise: Mike belongs to a gym and goes there, uh ... sometimes, when he has the time. (Poor guy, it's work and travel and work and travel for him.) Me? Naaah. I know myself and honestly, I won't drive 10 miles to a gym, which is how far away it is. So I try to walk 2 miles a day and use my free weights at home for some resistance training. End of story.

3. Water: I already drink oceans of water and Mike is pretty good about his water intake as well. I think the amount of water that I drink has actually kept my weight down over the years, considering my gi-normous appetite. Hey, there's one thing we've been doing right!

4. Portion Control: What's portion control??? I know not these strange words. Lean steak the size of a deck of cards? No juicy 10 oz. ribeye? Oh dear, this could be trouble.

5. Whoa on the carbs: Mike can cut out carbs completely without flinching but this is a tough one for me, as it is for many women. Every couple of days I'm allowing myself a crunchy piece of grainy toast (liiiightly buttered), maybe some baked sweet potato fries, or a little pumpkin & flax granola sprinkled over strawberries. But gone are the bushels of potatoes and Costco double loaves of bread. Never been a big fan of pasta so that's one saving grace.

6. Deprivation in Moderation: I subscribe to the theory that if you deprive yourself toooo much of foods you like, you will sabotage your weight loss plan. For me, total deprivation means resentment and frustration take over and I'm more likely to give into cravings. I would rather lose the weight slowly and allow myself, say ... a taco now and then. And I do mean now and then. Mike, on the other hand, is more of a purist and will probably not consume as much as a tortilla chip during this meltdown process. Dueling theories.

7. Sleep: I keep the hours of a nightclub owner, sans the sleep-til-noon part. Somehow I've convinced myself that I don't need more than 6 hours of sleep. And that's just wrong. Dangerously wrong. But I get soooo much more work done late at night when there are no distractions, she whines. Too bad, now go to bed!

8. Sugar: Those who know me well know that I could eat my weight in cookies, pies and bread pudding. (Mike can take it or leave it, dammit.) This is mandatory deprivation for sure, and challenging indeed. Not even one itty-bitty cookie? Nope, not at this early stage.

9. Last but not least, Raise the Stakes to increase accountability: For us, that means putting ourselves online like dorks. I'm convinced that this blog is the thing that will tip the scales for us this time ... in the right direction, that is. It promotes the commitment part because, well ... all of you are watching! One could argue that we should be doing this for just ourselves, and that it shouldn't matter if there is an audience. But it does matter. Because it provides support, encouragement, incentive and accountability. All key stuff, imho.

So thank you, followers, for reading and supporting! Together we're 35 sticks lighter for it! Stay tuned.